


An Unexpected Proposal

by SongsofPsyche



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Battle of Five Armies, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield Fluff, But don't expect any more slash from me, Fix-It, Fluff, Humor, I've finally jumped on the Bilbo/Thorin bandwagon, Insane Silliness, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongsofPsyche/pseuds/SongsofPsyche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Thorin goes mad from Gold Sickness, Bilbo attempts to find a suitable way to distract him from going to war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unexpected Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> This totally came out of no where today, but it made me laugh so I decided to write it out.

Thorin was still yelling. It had nearly been an hour, and he was still upset about what Bilbo did, and Bilbo was starting to feel exasperated. There was an army outside, and all Thorin could do was yell? What had happened to the level headed dwarf who had comforted him in Mirkwood? Bilbo sighed, looking down at his toes, he saw a small glitter. _This is madness_ he thought as he strode towards Thorin, the small piece of gold clutched in his hand.

 

“Thorin Oakensheild!” Bilbo shouted, and he felt fourteen eyes fall on him as he strode towards the throne.

 

“You! I cant believe you gave _them_ the Arkenstone, of all the treasure in all of Erebor you had to pick the one things that mattered to me most, are you trying to spite----”

 

“Will you marry me?” Bilbo asked suddenly.

 

Thorin stopped short.

 

“ _What?”_ he asked.

 

Bilbo knelt down on one knee and reveled a gold ring embedded with small sapphires. He held it up with a trembling hand.

 

“Thorin Oakenshield, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, Will you marry me?” he asked again, trying to keep him voice steady as Thorin opened and closed his mouth like a fish gaping for air.

 

He had been rendered speechless, just as Bilbo had intended. Thorin just stared at him, and at the ring in him finger. _This was unexpected._ He thought, the anger he felt before vanished and was replaced with confusion. _What just happened?_

 

The company stared at the two figures in the middle of the room. It was a strange sight; Thorin dressed in regal blue, with a gold crown on his head, and Bilbo kneeling on the ground with him arm outstretched. His dark green tunic moving up and down as he breathed, and his new buttons glinted. The silence was eerie, but at least it was better than Thorin’s shouting.

 

_Thorin’s shouting._

 

Fili was the first one to pick it up. He suppressed a laugh and hid his smile with his sleeve. Kili glared at Fili, then looked back at Thorin and Bilbo. _Oh._

 

Thorin glanced down at Bilbo, and then took his hand and pulled him up. After all this time, all they went through, he still had the courage to ask what he never could. What a brave little soul. Shouldn't it be the other way around though? Maybe it was different in Hobbit culture.  Thorin smiled, he had never been proposed to in all of his life, and it made him feel happy, almost giddy.

 

“Yes.” he said, then awkwardly held out his hand.

 

Bilbo stopped short.

 

“What?”

 

“Yes. Yes I will marry you!” Thorin explained with a smile on his face.

 

Bilbo returned the smile, and then put the ring on his finger. He had never expected him to say yes. What would happen now? He had only intended to distract him.

 

Thorin pulled him into a hug and whirled him around, “this is the happiest moment of my life!” he blurted out, and then promptly started crying into him shoulder.

 

 _So this is what Balin meant when he said Thrain went mad from Gold Sickness._ Bilbo thought, and he gingerly patted Thorin on the back.

 

“There There, it’s alright.” He tried to comfort him. Thorin’s breath hitched, and he looked up and him with a pure Durin scowl on his face.

 

“There is an ARMY outside this mountain. They’re going to interfere with the wedding! Damn them all to Mahal’s hammer!” he shouted, breaking free of Bilbo and wielding around to face his company.

 

He turned fiercely towards Ori.

 

“You!” he shouted, Ori visibly flinched.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Go get paper and Ink. We need to start on the invitations. At least 5000, everyone out there should t get one, and a plus one for their guest. The orcs might not make it but thats okay, they would ruin the wedding pictures anyway. And the _elves_ we’ll have to make sure they stay in the back too….” he started pacing and murmuring, while everyone stared shell shocked at him.

 

Bilbo cleared him through, “Umm, shall I….” he trailed off. He didn't even know where to start, and was beginning to think that proposing was a very very bad idea.

 

Thorin turned to him and smiled, “You, my dear Bilbo go with Balin. Im sure he remembers where the textile room is. We need to start fitting your dress robes!” and he motioned towards Balin, who just smiled. 

 

Thorin then turned to Ori, who was stock still, “Well, get on with it! 5000 invitations wont write themselves!”

Ori hesitated, and Balin whispered “best you play along for now, laddie. Better be planning a wedding than battle.”

 

“Yes sir.” he answered

 

Thorin smiled brightly, “Good lad! You shall be my Best Man!” he shouted, and then turned around to the group.

 

“I want to thank you all for being here on my special day….” he started, then his breathe hitched.

 

“ooooooohhhhhh.” he sighed rubbing his eyes.

 

“Come on Dwalin, help me write my royal announcement.” he commanded and then strode off towards the dilapidated study, leaving the group in silence.

 

“Is Thorin going insane?” Nori asked, the question they had all been thinking.

 

“Aye, he may be. Gold Sickness can come in many forms, but Ive never seen it take a dwarf in this matter.” Balin answered.

 

Kili choked back a laugh, and all heads turned towards him.

 

“Bilbo, you- you have turned Uncle into a woman!” he snorted, as Fili tried to shush him.

 

“I was only trying to distract him! I never thought he would say yes!” Bilbo shot back.

 

They then heard Thorin’s low baritone singing the traditional dwarf wedding song coming from the study.

 

“Well, it worked.” Fili answered, and Kili giggled.

 

“Shush your making it worse, brother.” Fili shot back at him, punching him in the arm.

 

“Owwww what was that for? That hurt!” Kili huffed

 

Fili pouted his lip, “Oh, I am so sorry brother that I hurt you and stole your pride with my fist. Will you marry me?”

 

Ori gasped in horror, “The sickness is spreading!!!!”

 

Bilbo felt himself flush with embarrassment, this had been a very very bad idea after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that is how the BOFA never happened, and they all lived happily ever after. Having a momentous occasion surrounded my loved ones can cure any ill feeling between people :) Even the Orcs were happy (the majority of them came, much to Thorin's dismay), Azog got quite drunk and gave a long toast to the happy couple (while continuously threatening to kill them), the Elves and men's feelings were smoothed over when Thorin handed out thank you presents for coming and they all lived happily ever after.
> 
> Except for Tolkien, who is rolling over in his grave at this very moment, cursing me to oblivion in 30 different languages for this blasphemous piece of fluff.
> 
> I hope ya'll enjoyed it.
> 
> I do take prompts, please message me on here or post on my tumblr!
> 
> http://www.tumblr.com/blog/music234


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